The Common Thread

Once upon a time I was being briefed by a Board President prior to doing some work with their Board. His advice to me, in summary, was to “tread lightly.” He implied that they were a bit of a sensitive group and perhaps skeptical of outside consultant types. I got the sense they didn’t want to be lectured at or told what to do.

And that’s fine. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t like telling poeple what to do (maybe even to a fault). But when I started doing the work, I ended up focusing too much on the “tread lightly” advice. I was quiet, and didn’t speak up, and waited for them to give me things to which I could react. In short, I was passive. And that didn’t serve me or the Board.

I realized, in retrospect unfortunately, that in my quest to not offend or control, I effectively removed all of my power from the equation. There is an important difference, it turns out, between being powerful and being controlling. There is a difference between being strong and dictating.

In general, we need more strength in our organizations. We need more people being powerful–not controlling or dictating–but powerful and strong. This is true of Board members, consultants, and the people whose boxes are at the bottom of the organizational chart. Play your cards. Speak your mind. Make your contribution. Get it done. You can do all of these things while still “treading lightly” if you are aware of the others in the system and engage them respectfully. But holding back and playing small and waiting until later, in most cases, is not the path we need.